Friday, 30 June 2017


I'm not going to lie - this month has been hard. I miss my Dad, I haven't been feeling my normal self and I don't feel excited for anything because I have a dull feeling in my belly in the knowing nothing is ever going to be the same. I feel like my Dad has been gone for so long already and the reality has been setting in more and more with each day. I felt as though I was still close to him before, but now I just feel like he's fully gone. Austria was helpful because I met a little soul friend who had just lost someone truly special, and we lived, worked and spent lots of our free time together so it has been hard to readjust to a life without her in it.

Anyway, enough of the moaning and groaning, I am writing this gratitude diary to pick myself up and realign my thought path into a more positive one.

Firstly, I am really grateful for that friend I just mentioned above. I am glad she is now in my life. We did a lot of healing together, we laughed, we cried, we explored, we spoke and we understood one another and that has been a huge part of both of our healing journeys. I am grateful I found someone to do that with and I am grateful it was someone so kind, thoughtful and intelligent. I can tell we are going to be life-long friends and that's exciting - so there is a third thing to feel grateful for.

I am grateful for my time in Austria, I saw a lot, I learned a lot and I gained a lot. Without the experience I gained there, I wouldn't have landed myself the teaching job I have now here in London. It helped me learn a lot about myself as a teacher and helped me to develop on the things I wanted to develop on. It also gave me a lot of time to think about what I want personally and has enabled me to get my goals straight in my mind.

I am so grateful for Riley as per usual. He is so blooming lovely and gorgeous. The little dude comes everywhere with me, we go out to cafes together, go on nice long walks and he's been on a few day trips with me too. In the evenings we play ball together and he always makes me chuckle with his funny little ways and the extreme lengths he will go to for a tennis ball. When I take him out and see him happily bouncing around in the fields, it honestly fills my heart with such joy. I love waking up to cuddles with him and although slightly annoying, I love how protective he is of me because it shows a bit of fire in the belly, and I've no respect for a lack of that in anyone! 

My Dad's friends are amazing. They've all been very supportive since he passed and I love being around them. I love being able to ask about stories about my Dad and things they have done together. My Dad's best friend from the gym and I go on walks with Riley and talk about all the evenings out they had and how my Dad was in a group. My Dad's best friend and neighbour tells me what my Dad would have said and his wife is always there to give me a supportive cuddle and some loving words. He also has another friend who invited me to stay with her in Portsmouth and Spain. When I go and stay with her she is always so welcoming and loving and I really appreciate what she does for me.

I am grateful for my new work team - they're lovely and interesting and I feel I've finally found myself in an industry that suits me. We are all free to come and go as we please (as we should be), and we all share a similar thirst for life. A thirst in which we hydrate ourselves with. We are all travel lovers, theatre goers, language pheens, and people lovers. We're always doing new things and there are always interesting stories to be told.

At the moment, I am back into my fashion. I love clothes and fashion. I love developing my own personal style and I am building it up again at the moment which is cool! I love finding little bits and bobs and putting them together with old pieces. I read in a book that you must remember what you loved to do as a child and transfer some of that into adulthood. I personally loved Barbie and making her look good, so now I just pretend I am my own Barbie and dress myself in all the things I love.

Reading: this is always in my gratitude diary I think... I have had a bit more time recently to read so I've completed a few books. It's been fabulous. There is something about reading a good book that just makes me feel so alive and fulfilled. I just finished reading 'Many lives, Many Masters' by Dr Brian L. Weiss (highly recommend!) and I am about to begin 'The alchemist' in Spanish by Paolo Coelho, a fellow blogger friend recommended it to me (- Oh hay Liuba!). I'm super excited to read his book in Spanish too because it is in his native language which means it will be in his authentic words!

I am super, duper, 100% grateful for my beautiful phone. My goodness, how on earth did people get themselves about before we had mobiles? My mobile is the key to successfully navigating myself around London at the moment, and I could not be without that little brick of radiation. It's also my camera, my notebook, and my music supply. Big love for my phone right now!

New stationary has been making me very happy this month. I have a new diary, lots of new pastel coloured highlighters, new notebooks, new cases and so on. I am super nerdy but I am super excited to get my study on with these bad boys. I remember I was always the same in school, and it kept me so motivated at the beginning of term too. It's a shame it wore off, but hey. Good job I am now old enough to buy my own stationary on the regular if need be! ha!

I am grateful that I kept a memory box. The other day I went through my memory box and it reminded me of so many things I had forgotten. I originally went hunting for a Christmas card my Dad handmade me years ago, but I found so much more. Firstly, and most preciously - I found a card my Dad had made, he had drawn me on the front and written 'LISA, I LOVE YOU' in huge writing, inside wrote 'LOVE DAD XXX'. I'm not going to lie, I had a moment, I sat and cried for a good three minutes straight. Then I let it fill me with complete love. I actually had someone who loved me more than anything and that is the luckiest, most profound gift we could receive in our lifetimes so I am grateful. Along with this beautiful item I found lots of old letters from pen pals. I forgot how many pen pals I actually had. I had pen pals from Japan, South Africa, France, England, Iceland, Spain, and Ireland. How amazing is that! My Dad would have set those up, he was the king of ensuring I always had friends when we went away. It's no wonder I have such a great love for travel and other cultures either given that I'd had all of these doses of different realities. Also in my memory box I found old Photos of all of my friends. My friend Katrina and I have been best friends since the first day of primary school, and there were lots of childhood photos of us. There were also photos of me and my friends from school from over ten years ago which was cool! What a lovely, lovely thing to had looked through. YAY for memory boxes!

I am grateful for my guy friends and boy cousins. So, for the past few months I have been on a man ban. I'm a firm believer in energies and needing a balance of masculine and feminine ones, so that's where these guys come in. My friends from Austria, my friend Ricky-roo, my friend at work, my cousins friends, and my cousins Max and Jazz make my life complete at the moment. They supply me with the male company I enjoy with lots of laughter and fun but without any expectations. They are also helping me to rebuild my trust in men; they're helping me to learn that men can be honest and kind.

Random things I have been loving: channel 4's first dates, the sound of birds singing, the parsley and garlic combo, learning more about Grammar, fake tan (organic), my skincare regime, palazzo pants, dungarees, flower hair accessories, tea, banana nakd bars, hobknobs, free-from frozen lollies, morning snuggles, snazzy sunglasses, mint flavoured floes, photos of my Dad, writing lists, dry shampoo, lamps for ambiance, salt crystals, new trainers, 13 reasons why, ginger, cinnamonnights infresh bed sheets, and appreciating home

Peace out Potatoes xo


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