Monday, 31 July 2017


July has been an okay month for me, I have had my lows about my pops and my highs with my friends and family. I have been working hard teaching in a language school, and focusing on my dental health and studies. I've spent a lot of time with my Riles and I have been to a few new places here in the U of the K. Anyway, without further or do, I shall get on with writing about all the things I have been feeling grateful for this month.

I know I always repeat myself in these diaries, but it's because I am continuously grateful for the things I am writing about. Firstly, as usual, I am obviously super happy about having my little Riley. My main man, my best friend, my partner in crime doggy friend. I don't know what I'd do without him to be honest. He's been in my life for six years and he just brings me so much joy. He has been there through everything. He's such a comfort and when I have those nights where I just cry, he jumps up to me and tries to lick the tears from my face, it's the cutest thing. We have an amazing bond Riley and I, and I am truly blessed to have him. I know I'm obsessed with my dog, but seriously, the more I hang out with him, the more I realise he is better than most humans. I've also realised I need to find more humans with his traits.. He is loyal af, caring and hilarious. He isn't afraid to stand up for what he believes in (tennis balls). He's active, affectionate and adorable. He comforts me when I cry. He's chill about everything. He's unpredictable. He'll do whatever it takes to get what he wants in life (usually balls). He doesn't listen to other people when they tell him to do stuff because he knows I only tell him stuff out of care for his safety haha... He's a leader, not a follower. He doesn't bullshit his way around life, you get what he truly feels. He's as pure and as real as they come. If more humans could be like him then I'd probably like them more. We do so much together, and I especially love going on long walks in nature with him, which brings me to the second thing in my gratitude diary -

Being out in nature! I just love it. I love the sound of the birds, and the bugs. I love being out in nature in the Summer for many reasons too. I love seeing the fruits on the trees and picking them. I love seeing all of the butterflies floating around. I love seeing bees and wasps do their thing on all the beautiful wild flowers. I love the visual candy nature provides for you, the crazy plants you see, with all different colours and shapes. Being in nature is as free as can be, and it gives you so much back.

I am super grateful for my best friend Alison. She is my entire support network at times, and she just gets me, and I get her. We know one another so well now that we can see one another's next movement. We always have each other cracking up and quite frankly, I have not had her in my life enough recently. Alison is probably the only person on this planet that can always, always lift me up when I am down, and always knows the right things to say to give me the positive kick I need to get on with things. Alison if you're reading this, you're the best and we MUST plan more things together because, without enough Ali-Lis time, I'm actually going to go crazy.

I've been really enjoying juicing this month. I've been making lots of different combinations. I'm usually happy if it at least contains carrots, lemon, and ginger. I love that juices mean you can pump yourself full of vitamins. I love it even more because my Dad bought me a juicer as a moving in present a few years back, and every time I use it, it reminds me that my Dad always took care of me, and continues to do so in many ways. 

On to the topic of my beautiful Padre, it has been over six months since he passed now, and it has been nothing less than tough. I am really hurting, deeply and badly, but through all of this I still manage to see what there is to be grateful for. I am still eternally grateful that I got to have my Dad in my life for 25 years, I got to have him into my adult years, and I know that is very lucky. I am grateful that I knew my Dad at all, and I even got to know him very well. I am grateful that all his traits live on in myself and my siblings. I am grateful that I got to say goodbye to him and I got to show him just how much I loved him before he went. I am grateful that I was given such a profound relationship with my father, and such a profound everlasting love too. I am grateful for all the memories he made with us, all of the memories he has left for us all to share, and all of the memories I am living and will live in his honour too.

I like a life without routine. I have realised that through having one this month (and the month before), that I really enjoy life without fixed routine if I'm honest. Being in a routine drives me crazy. I always fancy it when I'm living outside of one, but then I try this life and it isn't for me. I like the higgledy-higgledy life best. Predictability it utterly boring for me if I'm honest. I can't believe people live their lives in a routine for several years, and sometimes decades. Nope, not for me. Lot's of people don't like change, but change is one of my best friends. I embrace change because I love change.

Peace and quiet is underrated. I adore peace and quiet. I don't know if it's because I live in a busy area, because I teach teenagers for a living, or because I have a big, loud family, but whatever it is, it has led me to love peace and quiet. I could sit in silence for days, and it would feel like heaven. I don't need to hear the radio, TV murmurs, or pointless chatter. I'm happy to be left alone with my own thoughts in still, soundless, solitude. Ah, it's complete bliss.

I love feeling pretty. I love having my eyebrows done and looking fresh. I love having my hair freshly cut. I love wearing new outfits and having my nails and skin looking pretty. I love having a spray tan. I love putting together a quirky outfit and feeling on top of the world when wearing it. I used to get pretty for the attention of others when I was younger, but now, I literally get pretty just for me, and it's great.

I have been loving family time this month, I always do, but I have been especially grateful for it this month. I spent a weekend with my brother and his beautiful boys in Lincoln the other week, and it was so nice. I love spending time with my siblings because we can remember our Dad together, but it is extra special with my brothers because they are men, so it feels as though I am spending a bit of time with bits of my Dad. My brother in Lincoln especially looks like my Pops, and has his sense of humour. He is also so similar to him when it comes to his parenting style; his kids adore him and like to sporadically tell him that they love him, which was exactly how I was with my Dad. He is both warm and firm, and it is wonderful to see my father's legendary parenting live on in his son. My sister is the same, she is warm and firm with her little Al-Al too. I love my sister like a best friend and a big sis, we can talk about everything. We have traits like our Dad but we also have similarities which differ to his, which is nice, because we have things in common without just being related. I love my Dad for giving us one another. I don't actually know what I would have done without them to be honest.

My time with my brother made me realise the two most important memory triggers, and made me love and appreciate them even more. The first of the two is music; music instantly triggers memories. As does the second thing I am about to write; which is scent. My brother has all of my Dad's old aftershaves and it was so nice to smell the familiar scents of my Pa. He loved to smell good and spent thousands of pounds on aftershaves. The man had style and class when it came to looking, smelling, and feeling good! My brother and I also sat there listening to all the songs that reminded us of our childhood and it was just amazing. I love music and the eclectic taste in music my Pa passed on to my Broseph and I.  

Living in the now: If you are suffering with depression, you are grieving or even just find yourself tackling negative emotions from time to time, I strongly advise living in the now. It is easy to focus on what is lost, but focusing on the here and now can really help lift your mood. Find the happiness in the moment. So, right now, I am happy to be writing as it helps me to get my creative juices flowing. I am happy to have my beautiful dog laying at the end of my beautifully made bed with stylish bed linen. I have a roof over my head and I am well fed and safe. Right here, right now, I am a very, very lucky, happy human being.

Eating off the land is my new favourite. I have been eating home grown blackberries, apples, beetroot, mint, tomatoes, basil and parsley most recently. We have a blackberry bush and tomato plant in our back garden, and a huge apple tree in our front garden. I have a kitchen herb garden to grow herbs like basil too. A family friend has also been giving me beetroot from his garden to juice with. I love cooking with fresh ingredients, and I love that I know exactly what is going on my food (nothing) so I eliminate the chance of nasty chemicals being on these products. I hope to grow a lot more in the coming year, but I first need to educate myself on how to do so. I would like to grow my own potatoes, beetroot, carrots, raspberries, asparagus, and beans too, and all in good time, I shall.

My job - it's so fun and rewarding - I've had the best class for the past two weeks. They started off very cheeky, but with a bit of extra attention and humour, I ended up having a lot of jokes and laughs with them while teaching them English Last week alone, I did a baking class, a bucket list class and an art class. It's so much fun teaching in a free environment when you can mix things up and make your lessons creative and interesting. I love sending a class away with extra language knowledge and skills and I had a few Thank yous and cute goodbyes last week which was lovely!

My vegan diet and lifestyle is the best. A big LOL to all the people who insinuate my diet is boring because I took the decision to cut out animal flesh and fluids. I love the taste, colours, textures and variety of foods I eat. I love that my diet is packed full of nutrition and my lifestyle is completely rid of cruelty too. I love cooking and making lots of different juices. I also love vegan, cruelty-free and as natural as can be beauty products.

Little things I have been loving - Zizzi's is my new favourite restaurant due to it's wonderful vegan options. I love burning candles, getting to know cool people better, going for nice meals, cooking, my handwriting, the supermarket Aldi, my home, hearing songs that remind me of my dad, my financial situation, my clothes, nice hot baths, drinking lots of water, ice-cold water, not drinking alcohol/ being alcohol-free, my bed, my eye mask, waking up to Riles, and cuddles with Riley.

I hope your heart has been full of gratitude this month too!

Peace out Potatoes xo


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